monday. the first of many growing ups and changes

Apple and Berry pulp from this morning's juice

[So glad we did not put the pulp in the cookies]

The Best Cookies in the world.

So good that we emailed Jamie Oliver to tell him so

Moss. I think of Jay's lovely moss moustache

Near the end of my walk back from bi lo. The weather was perfect for how I was feeling

I never realised our water metre was alive and needed a name

There is rain on its way. If you looked down at the pavement, the ants scurrying were another sign testifying of the oncoming weather

Where we slept and watched Amelie

After dropping a tissue rose, get out of jail free card, a carpark rock and a button into Alec we stopped by a second hand book store

I think it was a bit of retail therapy. We happened to buy chocolate and books. After Jay left. I think it worked

Lil bro no.2's school bag

I discovered that these shoes, despite appearances are quite comfortable to walk at least 2kms in. An accquisition from early Sydney markets. And despite those terrible Rivers ads, these shoes have turned out quite well.

Our beautiful tile floor

Through the wire door. Many adventures lie beyond the mesh. Somewhere, 4 hours away in Canberra there is Jay unpacking.

3 fingers. They long for someting, yet at that precise moment are simply content with just existing peacefully on the tiles

At the Warhope markets me and Jay went halves in this camera. We both saw it and could not leave it. We paid a good $6 each. On Jay's departure she left it in my care

If anyone reading this happens to have a spare spool and some Kodak 120 or 620 film, it would be greatly appreciated if you donated them to us-just comment to let me know:) We really want to get it working and take some photos the old fashioned way. Any developing chemicals would also come in handy. [Grandpa, do you still have your camera + gear like this?]

This is me exactly how I feel on a summer's evening which feels more like an april's evening, having just spent a whole wonderful day with 2 friends after saying good bye to the third. This is simply me lying on the cool tiles infront of the front door.

4am. Next time I say farewell to a friend and intend to run after the car, I will not wear thongs. Today has been...not what I thought it would be. It feels like april. An april evening. A feeling of sun that has been, a left over tinge of the morning's rain and a hint of future rain. A breeze binds it all together. Now we are three. I could think of no better way of spending an early rainy morning than driving over to Jay's house, knocking on her window, being let in and crashing on her blue IKEA couches. The four of us sharing an hour of a kinda sleep before packing the car. Through the darkness I could see their individual and distinctive sillouettes. I never thought I knew what true love was. But when I looked, truely and simply looked at 4.30am this morning at those three figures in the dark, I realised I did know. My heart strings pulled the corners of my mouth into a smile, and opened my tear ducts for just a second, long enough for a 2 lone tears to line my eyes, but not enough to run down my cheeks. These tears were not of sadness.

"if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom"

[Sufjan Stevens;Chicago]

They[the tears] were of happiness. Of times past, present and future.

in the leafy treetops...

Iroh is currently situated at the top of the huge gum in our neighbour's front yard. He's been there since about 9 o'clock. Dad walked out the front door and Iroh saw his chance and made a dash for the open sky. I never was attatched to the bird, but I want him to come back, not only for his saftey (let's face it, little fluro cockertiels were never bred to survive in the wild) but for my brothers'. Jai will be devestated-that bird is his one true love. Even dad looks a bit lost without his little shoulder companion. We've got the cage on the front veranda, in the hope that Iroh decides to fly back home. I don't think I'd miss the bird itself, but rather the happiness and joy and entertainment it brought to our family and especially my lil brothers' lives.

wednesday's facts:

I love my friends.

that and I really want to pick tennis up again.

6am

I had forgotten what 6 o'clock in the morning was like. I can't believe I'd been missing out on this glorious time of morning for the past 2 weeks. Early this morning I drove my family (minus my lil sister) to the sand dunes. I had first been introduced to them last week by Jacspi and decided to share the experience with my parents and little brothers. Yesterday the idea had been repulsed, torn down, stamped on and screamed at. Today little boys rubbing sleep from their eyes were more open and less hostile (a big thankyou to a good night's sleep!) As I drove in the early morning sun, my dad in the front, my mama reading The Fellowship of the Ring to my half awake brothers, I was able to observe the early morning life stirring in our local neighbourhood. No longer am I going to sleep in, even to a comfortable 7.30. 6 o'clock is the best time ever created and I shall be awake to see it.

At the sand dunes mama and I took photos while Papa walked and the boys collected rocks and shells. I have decided, a decision made all the way back at Port, that I want to live right near the beach. Close enough to run/walk every morning or at least a 5 or 10 min drive. There is a peace which exists there with the early fishermen, surfers and beach walkers. Wether it be photos, mediation, swimming, running, etc, one is able to forget the world, discover the simple things in life and become closer to who they're meant to be. Despite the salt and sand coating your body, you always feel clean walking away from the water, through the sand and back to your car. Refreshed for a new day or even life. It washes the stress away and gives you the strength to face the oncoming day head on. My family has never been a beach family and so it is only now in my own travels and thanks to some great friends that I have found this love.

confessions, revelations and mysteries

ok, I do like Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Angela, Charlie, and I was rooting for Jacob Black until he started going a bit jerky in book 3. Jasper and Emmet are pretty cool too. Even Rosalie in her own way. Now I see...I like the supporting characters better than the main protagonists. Who would've guessed?

Question: what is love? True love?