DAY 2 SEMESTER 2

yeah. I can't believe it either. I'm blogging again. Anyway moving on from the obvious I'd just like to say I've finished reading Eldest, The Second Sun and The Light and the Fury. AND they were worth reading. EMP(electro magnetic pulse) is one scary feasible concept/reality. Uni started up again yesterday and with my four hours on the train plus a bit of this morning's trip I read A Wizard of Earthsea. A brilliant novel if I do say so myself. The battle between light and dark, a shadow which we all have and must face. Sparrowhawk and Vetch <3. The power of true names. and true friendship. A friendship I share with 3 special people- our own little sparrowhawk out braving a world far (but not too far) from our own.

[aside:I'm eating dry cereal kindly donated by Eru to help me survive the train trip yester-even]

Eru was eaten by pigeons today. She became a crazy bird lady AND i caught it on film (he he he).

A pleasant surprise trip to Borders with Indi (oh the advantages of finishing uni early)

Questions:

What is my shadow? Where is my shadow? Is it myself?

What is my true name? Is it the name we receive at birth our true name or one we adopt later on in life? Do some never find it? Are some given it from birth? Do we become a name or does a name become us? Does it actually matter? What is in a name?

Hamlet

I want to stop yet at the same time I don't. It feels like I'm talking to someone even though it's just myself and my macbook. But I am talking to others. Others who will read this later. Later when I don't feel like talking as much. Oh the Irony of it all.

cough splutter cough squeak

Am I trying to make up for a whole semester of not blogging in one night? I don't know. Maybe I just want to talk to somebody but as my voice is unreliable at the moment I talk to myself.

kaze to samui to ame

The wind it blows and this house creaks and the possums they play in the roof.

psychological conflict and indecisiveness to the max

You know what...Stuff soccer training. This is the end of my holidays and I'm going to have friends over. (please rain, wash away my guilt and cover my slackness. Please friends don't be sick or busy). Although tomorrow may bring a renewed wave of guilt and I may go to soccer training as it is my last opportunity, due to a 2-5pm thursday Print making class in semester two and dear Lozza needing to collect stuff off her lover boi. Ughh... I would either really appreciate a time turner or for the rain to come pouring down but stop over friday so we can play on saturday. I do love soccer but driving out newcastle way twice a week can become slightly inconvenient and frustrating when the majority of your team who actual live close to the field don't even bother/can't turn up. I grumble whilst at home but as soon as I get to soccer it's great and I don't ever regret turning up. Ok, so from this post it can be concluded that ess has not made up her mind and is hoping the weather decides for her.

20 000 leagues under the sea and counting...

I'm not sure what to write. All I know is that I feel like blogging. It's funny how doing nothing can leave you feeling more drained and exhausted than being active. Today's wind was amazingly refreshing. It was a lovely winter's day-almost warm with a wild wind whipping about. My girls and I gathered up armfuls of leaves, climbed to the balcony and let them fly on the next forceful gust of wind. It works better with roasted peanut skins but the leaves were still effective. I love windy days. Toward midday the wind was gentler and we sat outside on the grass reading til the shadows creeped in and the sun hid behind the trees, making it's way behind the horizon. I finished Eldest [SPOILER] which wasn't so bad-I do love how Murtagh returns- although I'm not a fan of the series I do like his character. Inside for the remaining 2 hours I put together the DVD with the slideshow the girls had made of the past 3 days , laughed at my lil bro's photobooth videos, played piano(It's been less than a year and already my hsc pieces are only fragments of notes in my memory-I can hardly get my fingers to stumble over the opening bars. I want to remember them again) and sprawled myself on a couch as the rain started up. Maybe I'm blogging because I'm alone. As I was giving Molly (our neighbour's dog) some love and one on one time, I realised how much I loved her and how much I wanted a dog or two. (But Dad will never allow it. I have to wait til I move out of home.) She's old and lonely. She cries at night. I wonder if she cries for plato...I talk to her. I tell her stories. I try to sing. I think what I miss most about having a normal functioning voice is the ability to sing. I am not a great singer but I enjoy it. Tonight as I sat with Molly under the veranda protected from the falling night rain I tried to sing 'If you could hie to Kolob' but my voice kept cutting out, going flat and sharp simultaneously as I tried to form the tune from my sick vocal chords. Come back voice. Please come back. I want the rain to continue into tomorrow. I want soccer training to be rained out so I can have friends old and new come over and we can cook and play starwars monopoly and maybe even set the fire alarm off again:) Jac, I wish you weren't in Canberra at the moment. I wish you were here with us. I can't come visit you next wed as I'm babysitting all day again, but maybe the week after. Maybe...Indi how fare you? Eru-I don't know if you even look at our blogs but how are you? How is (M) Gran Gran? I thought it classic that George Lucas wanted to have 'Saucer men' in the latest Indiana Jones title. And how he got Spielberg into the project by changing aliens to interdimensional beings which look like aliens. I also liked how lasting friendships were made through those films, carrying on between actor, director, producer etc. That could be us. I have so much of our film footage on Boris-so much which we haven't watched or edited or used. I think I'll just sort through it in my spare time and turn in into a whole lot of movie trailers which will never be released. Now that the holidaus are over I don't know where that spare time will come from but we'll see. Four hours of train travel 4 days a week may be the way to do it. I love uni but I do not want my holidays to end. There's so much more I wanted to do, to see, to explore. I really wanted to get my SLR camera this break as well. I'd saved the money, read up on dpreview til my brain exploded and thought that when I went into the shops and handled the cameras one would speak to me and I'd know it was the one. So all excited Jac and I and lil bro no.1 piled into Newt listening to Pogo on our way to oggle in camera shops. Instead of enlightenment I left more confused. I want a nice small SLR, good quality, light weight, not ugly and bulky, optical viewfinder, internal automatic focusing motor, pref. live view, SD memory card, 6-10 megapixels, under $1500. I want it to be hardy and light so I can run around on adventures with it either around my neck or in my pocket. If I could mould the Olympus Pen, Nikon D5000, and Olympus E620 I think I'd have the camera I'm after. I like mum's Canon compact camera she lets me run around with but it's not mine. I guess I just have to wait. Do some more research. sigh. As mum says 'You're not marrying the camera' so I guess I'll just have to make compromises. I guess I'm not going to find the perfect camera and will have to learn how to work with its faults-choosing to focus on what it does have rather than what it doesn't. double sigh. Sorry to those reading this-there are no paragraph spaces. It represents more than just a reluctance to use the return key. I feel like reading Charles and Mary Lamb's Shakespeare essays. And that is all I can be bothered to spill out. Fin. I'd also like to apologize to (even though you guys don't even know that this blog exists) Deano, Cougar Muffin warrior and Jazza for not catching up as I said I would. Fin.

For a Mr J. Neville,

It feels so incredibly wonderful to be able to collapse on a bed and do nothing.

Today has been good, yet hectic. Task 1: Babysitting. My girls and I used our faces as canvases-paint transforming us into tribal warriors, Harry Potter, raving footy fans and of course grand philosophers/circus ringmasters with our curly moustaches and complementary goatees. (my face feels raw from all the scrubbing we had to do to remove the paint...)(but it was so worth it). [If you have never had your face covered in paint, put it on your to-do-before-you-die list.][and yes I know this is an abuse of brackets/parenthesis/whatever you call them them]

Task 2: English Tutoring. First imagine what a seal/squeaky old lady who's been a chain smoker her whole life sounds like. That was me at the beginning of the day. Now add babysitting and talking nonstop for 3 hours about Virginia Woolf, contexts, time, representation, comparative studies etc. to that voice and you have me right now. I think I may have laryngitis. Anyway....having to help someone structure an essay/get their head around a book and play (neither of which I have read) for their hsc english trials (curse you board of studies for changing the syllabus on me! I would've been all knowing!!!!! and a lot more helpful) has apart from been draining on my voice, has renewed my love for english-for finding all those hidden links and connections...putting the pieces together....and then when it all clicks into place...Although I now have 'who's afraid of Virginia Woolf' (the song) repeating over and over in my head. The same one line over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over etc.

Task 3: Straightening Boo's hair. A simple yet time consuming task. That is all I have to say on the matter. That and I didn't burn her (although I did accidently poke her in the eye. But she's ok now and happy with her straight hair).

And now I have time all to myself. No little brothers running around. No sister mocking my seal voice. No parents reminding me of work and chores that should've been done. Peace, quiet and Molly the dog. I can read, blog, sleep, do whatever...

What am I reading at the moment? I am reading books which when read will free me to read the books I truly feel like reading. They are: 1) The Second Sun by Chris Stewart 2) the end of Eldest (I gave up 2 years ago but a friend has convinced me to finish it). Normally I read what I feel like when I feel like it. But these books have been lent to me for a long time (I do want to read them just not as much as the others) and I need to return them. I'd like a new start to the semester and so am aiming to be free by the end of the week. When I am freed I plan to return to Tolstoy, start Wizard of Earthsea, Dickens....maybe throw in Harry Potter 6. Who knows. I like reading books which whisper, echo, parallel my life at the moment in some form or shape. I've just finished The Secret Garden F. Hodgson Burnett and loved it. It was so simple and beautiful and perfect to be read in the winter sun. I can't wait till I can read it out loud to my (future) kids. In fact I can't wait until I can read anything out loud without my voice breaking and squeaking and running away. Q(for either now or another time): why is bukowski your favourite author?

No I do not have Facebook. Why not is a common question I hear. I'm still tossing up over wether to get it or not. There have been many people who have tried their persuading powers on me but if or when I get facebook it shall be my own decision and not sucumbing to peer pressure. I do not have anything against facebook (I actually think it's a great idea/concept) but I know it could become quite time consuming for me and I do not want to live my life infront of a screen no matter how much good can come of it. We shall see...I have to work some stuff out within before I enter the world of facebook. So for now it shall just have to be sms, email, snail mail or face to face contact.

Now you see why it has taken me so long to reply. Get well soon,

-ess the squeaking smoking seal

HONOUR!!!!! (current count 4)

Currently Avatar-festing!!!!!!!!
starring Indi as JET,
Eru as HARU
Jacu as ZUKO/ZUKI/SUKO
FPS as KATARA
Boof as JIN
Canon as THE MELON LORD!!!!
and myself (Ess) as AVATAR AANG
1 book down, 2 to go.....