and so time marches on. I do believe this blog is almost 1 year old...

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY FIRST YEAR OF UNIVERSITY. booh yeah. 3.5 months of summer holidays. I found myself a job too.

any reflections? I don't want to see the words globalisation, colonialism, or inequity for a very very long time. That and where do you find a waffle machine and recipe? Me and Lynnt want to hold a waffle party as they are a marvelous creation of mankind and way too expensive at Max Brennar. I find it hard to believe that this time last year I was holding out to read Twilight, getting ready for my formal, and had one original film under my/our belts. how things have a changed. It's also less then 4 months til I'm 20. yeah. I only have 4 months left of being a teenager and so I'm going to make the most of it. le gasp! THESE ARE MY VERY LAST SUMMER HOLIDAYS AS A TEENAGER! I'm hitting the 2oies just in time for uni. gasp gasp gasp gasp catch breath gasp gasp gasp etc. I'm going to be old and still look like a 16 year old. I wonder if I get to leave my pimples behind in teenhood-now that would be a sweet 20th birthday present.

stuff study...this is what we do when it storms...

hello.

get up and dance to your favourite song with no shame!

MID-SEMESTER BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
booh yeah. Flying out to brisbane tomorrow on a 6.20am flight, meaning a 3am wakeup.
AND I had an actual psychology report to hand in! It truely is a miracle that I 1)managed to write the report itself and 2) catch the 9.14am train. Today has been a good day. There's a cool little art gallery called The Hardware Gallery along Enmore road-check it out next time you're in the city. Just catch a 423, 428, 426 bus and it's 263 Enmore road on the right hand side.
the night weather is beautiful. I walked home in the dark. I can't wait for summer nights!

DAY 2 SEMESTER 2

yeah. I can't believe it either. I'm blogging again. Anyway moving on from the obvious I'd just like to say I've finished reading Eldest, The Second Sun and The Light and the Fury. AND they were worth reading. EMP(electro magnetic pulse) is one scary feasible concept/reality. Uni started up again yesterday and with my four hours on the train plus a bit of this morning's trip I read A Wizard of Earthsea. A brilliant novel if I do say so myself. The battle between light and dark, a shadow which we all have and must face. Sparrowhawk and Vetch <3. The power of true names. and true friendship. A friendship I share with 3 special people- our own little sparrowhawk out braving a world far (but not too far) from our own.

[aside:I'm eating dry cereal kindly donated by Eru to help me survive the train trip yester-even]

Eru was eaten by pigeons today. She became a crazy bird lady AND i caught it on film (he he he).

A pleasant surprise trip to Borders with Indi (oh the advantages of finishing uni early)

Questions:

What is my shadow? Where is my shadow? Is it myself?

What is my true name? Is it the name we receive at birth our true name or one we adopt later on in life? Do some never find it? Are some given it from birth? Do we become a name or does a name become us? Does it actually matter? What is in a name?

Hamlet

I want to stop yet at the same time I don't. It feels like I'm talking to someone even though it's just myself and my macbook. But I am talking to others. Others who will read this later. Later when I don't feel like talking as much. Oh the Irony of it all.

cough splutter cough squeak

Am I trying to make up for a whole semester of not blogging in one night? I don't know. Maybe I just want to talk to somebody but as my voice is unreliable at the moment I talk to myself.

kaze to samui to ame

The wind it blows and this house creaks and the possums they play in the roof.

psychological conflict and indecisiveness to the max

You know what...Stuff soccer training. This is the end of my holidays and I'm going to have friends over. (please rain, wash away my guilt and cover my slackness. Please friends don't be sick or busy). Although tomorrow may bring a renewed wave of guilt and I may go to soccer training as it is my last opportunity, due to a 2-5pm thursday Print making class in semester two and dear Lozza needing to collect stuff off her lover boi. Ughh... I would either really appreciate a time turner or for the rain to come pouring down but stop over friday so we can play on saturday. I do love soccer but driving out newcastle way twice a week can become slightly inconvenient and frustrating when the majority of your team who actual live close to the field don't even bother/can't turn up. I grumble whilst at home but as soon as I get to soccer it's great and I don't ever regret turning up. Ok, so from this post it can be concluded that ess has not made up her mind and is hoping the weather decides for her.

20 000 leagues under the sea and counting...

I'm not sure what to write. All I know is that I feel like blogging. It's funny how doing nothing can leave you feeling more drained and exhausted than being active. Today's wind was amazingly refreshing. It was a lovely winter's day-almost warm with a wild wind whipping about. My girls and I gathered up armfuls of leaves, climbed to the balcony and let them fly on the next forceful gust of wind. It works better with roasted peanut skins but the leaves were still effective. I love windy days. Toward midday the wind was gentler and we sat outside on the grass reading til the shadows creeped in and the sun hid behind the trees, making it's way behind the horizon. I finished Eldest [SPOILER] which wasn't so bad-I do love how Murtagh returns- although I'm not a fan of the series I do like his character. Inside for the remaining 2 hours I put together the DVD with the slideshow the girls had made of the past 3 days , laughed at my lil bro's photobooth videos, played piano(It's been less than a year and already my hsc pieces are only fragments of notes in my memory-I can hardly get my fingers to stumble over the opening bars. I want to remember them again) and sprawled myself on a couch as the rain started up. Maybe I'm blogging because I'm alone. As I was giving Molly (our neighbour's dog) some love and one on one time, I realised how much I loved her and how much I wanted a dog or two. (But Dad will never allow it. I have to wait til I move out of home.) She's old and lonely. She cries at night. I wonder if she cries for plato...I talk to her. I tell her stories. I try to sing. I think what I miss most about having a normal functioning voice is the ability to sing. I am not a great singer but I enjoy it. Tonight as I sat with Molly under the veranda protected from the falling night rain I tried to sing 'If you could hie to Kolob' but my voice kept cutting out, going flat and sharp simultaneously as I tried to form the tune from my sick vocal chords. Come back voice. Please come back. I want the rain to continue into tomorrow. I want soccer training to be rained out so I can have friends old and new come over and we can cook and play starwars monopoly and maybe even set the fire alarm off again:) Jac, I wish you weren't in Canberra at the moment. I wish you were here with us. I can't come visit you next wed as I'm babysitting all day again, but maybe the week after. Maybe...Indi how fare you? Eru-I don't know if you even look at our blogs but how are you? How is (M) Gran Gran? I thought it classic that George Lucas wanted to have 'Saucer men' in the latest Indiana Jones title. And how he got Spielberg into the project by changing aliens to interdimensional beings which look like aliens. I also liked how lasting friendships were made through those films, carrying on between actor, director, producer etc. That could be us. I have so much of our film footage on Boris-so much which we haven't watched or edited or used. I think I'll just sort through it in my spare time and turn in into a whole lot of movie trailers which will never be released. Now that the holidaus are over I don't know where that spare time will come from but we'll see. Four hours of train travel 4 days a week may be the way to do it. I love uni but I do not want my holidays to end. There's so much more I wanted to do, to see, to explore. I really wanted to get my SLR camera this break as well. I'd saved the money, read up on dpreview til my brain exploded and thought that when I went into the shops and handled the cameras one would speak to me and I'd know it was the one. So all excited Jac and I and lil bro no.1 piled into Newt listening to Pogo on our way to oggle in camera shops. Instead of enlightenment I left more confused. I want a nice small SLR, good quality, light weight, not ugly and bulky, optical viewfinder, internal automatic focusing motor, pref. live view, SD memory card, 6-10 megapixels, under $1500. I want it to be hardy and light so I can run around on adventures with it either around my neck or in my pocket. If I could mould the Olympus Pen, Nikon D5000, and Olympus E620 I think I'd have the camera I'm after. I like mum's Canon compact camera she lets me run around with but it's not mine. I guess I just have to wait. Do some more research. sigh. As mum says 'You're not marrying the camera' so I guess I'll just have to make compromises. I guess I'm not going to find the perfect camera and will have to learn how to work with its faults-choosing to focus on what it does have rather than what it doesn't. double sigh. Sorry to those reading this-there are no paragraph spaces. It represents more than just a reluctance to use the return key. I feel like reading Charles and Mary Lamb's Shakespeare essays. And that is all I can be bothered to spill out. Fin. I'd also like to apologize to (even though you guys don't even know that this blog exists) Deano, Cougar Muffin warrior and Jazza for not catching up as I said I would. Fin.

For a Mr J. Neville,

It feels so incredibly wonderful to be able to collapse on a bed and do nothing.

Today has been good, yet hectic. Task 1: Babysitting. My girls and I used our faces as canvases-paint transforming us into tribal warriors, Harry Potter, raving footy fans and of course grand philosophers/circus ringmasters with our curly moustaches and complementary goatees. (my face feels raw from all the scrubbing we had to do to remove the paint...)(but it was so worth it). [If you have never had your face covered in paint, put it on your to-do-before-you-die list.][and yes I know this is an abuse of brackets/parenthesis/whatever you call them them]

Task 2: English Tutoring. First imagine what a seal/squeaky old lady who's been a chain smoker her whole life sounds like. That was me at the beginning of the day. Now add babysitting and talking nonstop for 3 hours about Virginia Woolf, contexts, time, representation, comparative studies etc. to that voice and you have me right now. I think I may have laryngitis. Anyway....having to help someone structure an essay/get their head around a book and play (neither of which I have read) for their hsc english trials (curse you board of studies for changing the syllabus on me! I would've been all knowing!!!!! and a lot more helpful) has apart from been draining on my voice, has renewed my love for english-for finding all those hidden links and connections...putting the pieces together....and then when it all clicks into place...Although I now have 'who's afraid of Virginia Woolf' (the song) repeating over and over in my head. The same one line over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over etc.

Task 3: Straightening Boo's hair. A simple yet time consuming task. That is all I have to say on the matter. That and I didn't burn her (although I did accidently poke her in the eye. But she's ok now and happy with her straight hair).

And now I have time all to myself. No little brothers running around. No sister mocking my seal voice. No parents reminding me of work and chores that should've been done. Peace, quiet and Molly the dog. I can read, blog, sleep, do whatever...

What am I reading at the moment? I am reading books which when read will free me to read the books I truly feel like reading. They are: 1) The Second Sun by Chris Stewart 2) the end of Eldest (I gave up 2 years ago but a friend has convinced me to finish it). Normally I read what I feel like when I feel like it. But these books have been lent to me for a long time (I do want to read them just not as much as the others) and I need to return them. I'd like a new start to the semester and so am aiming to be free by the end of the week. When I am freed I plan to return to Tolstoy, start Wizard of Earthsea, Dickens....maybe throw in Harry Potter 6. Who knows. I like reading books which whisper, echo, parallel my life at the moment in some form or shape. I've just finished The Secret Garden F. Hodgson Burnett and loved it. It was so simple and beautiful and perfect to be read in the winter sun. I can't wait till I can read it out loud to my (future) kids. In fact I can't wait until I can read anything out loud without my voice breaking and squeaking and running away. Q(for either now or another time): why is bukowski your favourite author?

No I do not have Facebook. Why not is a common question I hear. I'm still tossing up over wether to get it or not. There have been many people who have tried their persuading powers on me but if or when I get facebook it shall be my own decision and not sucumbing to peer pressure. I do not have anything against facebook (I actually think it's a great idea/concept) but I know it could become quite time consuming for me and I do not want to live my life infront of a screen no matter how much good can come of it. We shall see...I have to work some stuff out within before I enter the world of facebook. So for now it shall just have to be sms, email, snail mail or face to face contact.

Now you see why it has taken me so long to reply. Get well soon,

-ess the squeaking smoking seal

HONOUR!!!!! (current count 4)

Currently Avatar-festing!!!!!!!!
starring Indi as JET,
Eru as HARU
Jacu as ZUKO/ZUKI/SUKO
FPS as KATARA
Boof as JIN
Canon as THE MELON LORD!!!!
and myself (Ess) as AVATAR AANG
1 book down, 2 to go.....

I'm sitting here, eating home made lasagna with chop sticks.

And so she blogs cos no one else is. (come on guys! My own mama is blogging more than us put together!)

Emperor Palpatine's blood shot eyes stare out at me from his prune wrinkled face like 2 warning beacons. His cruel smile, vampire in nature longs to consume all that is good. I lean forward, no I am not pledging my allegiance, never, I shall never follow the path paved by Anakin. No, never. Instead my hand snaps back his hooded cranium to offer a glorious PEZ to Armenia-girl. We had travelled far and wide, through all the layers of the Broadway Galaxy to find this PEZ, a PEZ so evil it was perfect for 2 hour health science lectures. I have to admit, it is incredibly freaky to see that evil face staring at you every time you pop a PEZ. So freaky you can't help but laugh, but it's a laugh laced with fear....

Biology midsemester exam tomorrow. Normaly I finish at 11am on thursdays, but as the test is 4-5pm I have a huge gap in which to study. My health science group presented today and it went pretty good-not as good as we were all expecting, but it wasn't bad. We had worked hard and consistently so I guess that's why we're a bit bummed about our tutor tossing up between a credit and distinction rather than between a distinction and high distinction. Our fate is yet to be defined.

oh, I nearly forgot the big news. Yesterday a letter made its way to my desk. A letter asking $25 for a certain book close to our hearts. It's time. The sister hood of the travelling books is about to make their first purchase:)

I do love uni. and my friends, both old and new. I love learning (though I wish I hadn't left it so late into the semester). I really want to make a difference in the health sector- after today's lecture on philosophy and disability my mind is whirling-I am apart of emerging health professionals who hold the quality of the future in their hands. We have to think like none before us. It is us who has to deal with the aging population....time to drive my sister places....

Nobody Owns the Moon
by Tohby Riddle
[picture book]

rain, rain, glorious rain.

rain, rain, glorious rain.

I received my first warning letter about Secret Scribbled Notebooks;D

My first glorious day of NOT going into uni. It's monday morning and I'm not on a train-lovely lovelies!!!!! AND>>>I'm going to do uni work today. That's right. [ess dramatically casts aside the evil procrastination!]

Wireless allows you to escape into the far-most corner of the backyard, giving you the privledge of lying on the grass blogging in the open air (away from other human beans). Why should Ess want to escape? A concord of reasons woven together and activated by something which should've brought joy. A late birthday present. To sum up I recieved a large postal box full of items which I don't need or identify with, bought by people who love me but barely survive on the money they do have, a person close to me who has recently visited and who I thought gained insight into my character. The tears came not because of disappointment at unwanted presents, but from....how do I word this? Imagine spending a week with someone dear to you, getting to know them more so than ever before, and vise versa....showing them your room, going to the Japanese gardens and sharing memories and experiences, going op shopping....feeling that after almost 19 years a connection and understanding had been made. Then several weeks later you are sent a package which contradicts all you believed had been gained...a symbol of misunderstanding and money which should've been directed elsewhere. My sister wants to sell it all on ebay- at the moment I can not bear to look upon it. I know, I know, mama has already told me- the whole symbol of their love, how buying stuff for us is an addiction..etc... etc...But although my brain gets it, it still hurts, tearing at my heart. Lack of sleep and food probably is heightening the emotions...but when I need kitchen wear I do not go out and buy any old/new (e.g.) knife. I have to find one with a soul, one which speaks to me, has had a life or is just waiting for life to begin... and so I add it to my slowly increasing stash of when-I-move-out items. My mind is telling me I'm over reacting, but I just needed to get it out before it exploded expentiously some other time. Let us forget and move on.

I am loving university and being apart of SURCAS (circus society). Last wednesday night I played with fire for the first time. Although my skill level was 0, it felt amazing. You can hear fire. I think if the wind could ever visually/physically project itself, taking upon a form, it would choose fire and the night to be manifested. I attempted staff work, but I am still learning how to move with the staff, recognising the various planes to guide it along. The hula hoop (which has 6 wicks screwed in and lit on fire) felt a lot easier and more natural. I love how you don't realise you smell of kerosene until the next morning when you smell last night's clothes. I love how you return with soot marks along your arms, legs and face. I love how you almost feel like Dustfinger.

Indi, I am begining to implement the 8/8/8 principle. 8 hours rest. 8 hours work. 8 hour play.

I am 19 years and 1 week old exactly.

I am now a convert to live music. Coldplay was more than I ever expected. It was the best 19th birthday present I could've ever wished for. Though the little booklet of 'this is your life' created by deece comes pretty close:)

[TAB 1: The luckiest by Ben Folds] [TAB 2: Blogger:winter beanie]

recieved a nasty shock last week: discovered how much uni work I actually have to do.

I'm meeting interesting people from all sorts of backgrounds, philosophies and cultures.

'I am the luckiest'

I love the chill Autumn evenings bring.

I have a blister (I think) on my right heel. Apparently it's from all my barefoot escaparades.

Hi Sparrow,

This is for when you're online again (I hope it's soon). It's been a week since I last saw you-how are you my little ninja? I thought of you when I was walking barefoot this evening-I think I did it for both of us. The evening just beckoned for shoes to be thrown off, for the wind to greet naked foot skin. Yes the concrete was rough, but one of us needs to retain our callouses:) [I'll give you some of mine when we meet up again].

much love, Ess.

p.s. I meet 2 guys who do/did free running/parkour-thought you'd like to know;D

I walked home bare foot on a lovely autumn evening. Twas round about 6pm. I have been blogging constantly in my mind- 4 hours worth of train catching 5 days a week gives you mighty amounts of self reflection time. Mr Thursday placed some interesting things along my path today. Being in the wrong half of the train turned out to be the right half-it led to exploring, discovery, a conversation with a dear friend, a Wendy's crunchie shake, understanding, insight, compassion, forgiveness, a new approach to drawing, gratitude...

blank.

blanc.
hmm.

You meet interesting people at university.

If Physiotherapy doesn't work out I can always join the circus. (I'm being serious)

Chemistry is frying my brain. Thinking, learning, homework, study...my body is having to adjust from holiday mode. Things I have learnt today:

-when you buy a weekly railpass from another station because your local station does not sell them, make sure you remember to ask for it from your local station to your destination.

-make sure you read the bus timetable properly or else you will miss your bus which actually turns out to be another bus after a certain time and the next one doesn't come until an hour later.

-No matter how tired and hungry you are, it is definitely worth making yourself do your homework and study on the train so when you get home you can crash and have 'me' time.

-How very different I am from the average person. Will I actually be able to find friends as like minded as Indi, Jacspi and Eru at Uni? Friends whom I find it easy to just be me around and open up?

An excerpt from Book5 in Meditations by Marcus Aurelius:

1. At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: "I have to go to work-as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I'm going to do what I was born for- the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?"

-But it's nicer here...

So you were born to fell "nice"? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don't you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you're not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren't you running to do what your nature demands?

-But we have to sleep sometime...

Agreed. But nature set a limit on that-as it did on eating and drinking. And you're over the limit. You've had more than enough of that. But not of working. There you're still below your quota.
You don't love yourself enough. Or you'd love your nature too, and what it demands of you. People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it, they even forget to wash or eat. Do you have less respect for your own nature than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for dance, the miser for money or the social climber for status? When they're really possessed by what they do, they'd rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practicing their arts.

Is helping others less valuable to you? Not worth your effort?

wow. check out these videos on consumerism and kids

http://frenchtoastfrance.blogspot.com/2009/01/consumer-kids.html

monday. the first of many growing ups and changes

Apple and Berry pulp from this morning's juice

[So glad we did not put the pulp in the cookies]

The Best Cookies in the world.

So good that we emailed Jamie Oliver to tell him so

Moss. I think of Jay's lovely moss moustache

Near the end of my walk back from bi lo. The weather was perfect for how I was feeling

I never realised our water metre was alive and needed a name

There is rain on its way. If you looked down at the pavement, the ants scurrying were another sign testifying of the oncoming weather

Where we slept and watched Amelie

After dropping a tissue rose, get out of jail free card, a carpark rock and a button into Alec we stopped by a second hand book store

I think it was a bit of retail therapy. We happened to buy chocolate and books. After Jay left. I think it worked

Lil bro no.2's school bag

I discovered that these shoes, despite appearances are quite comfortable to walk at least 2kms in. An accquisition from early Sydney markets. And despite those terrible Rivers ads, these shoes have turned out quite well.

Our beautiful tile floor

Through the wire door. Many adventures lie beyond the mesh. Somewhere, 4 hours away in Canberra there is Jay unpacking.

3 fingers. They long for someting, yet at that precise moment are simply content with just existing peacefully on the tiles

At the Warhope markets me and Jay went halves in this camera. We both saw it and could not leave it. We paid a good $6 each. On Jay's departure she left it in my care

If anyone reading this happens to have a spare spool and some Kodak 120 or 620 film, it would be greatly appreciated if you donated them to us-just comment to let me know:) We really want to get it working and take some photos the old fashioned way. Any developing chemicals would also come in handy. [Grandpa, do you still have your camera + gear like this?]

This is me exactly how I feel on a summer's evening which feels more like an april's evening, having just spent a whole wonderful day with 2 friends after saying good bye to the third. This is simply me lying on the cool tiles infront of the front door.

4am. Next time I say farewell to a friend and intend to run after the car, I will not wear thongs. Today has been...not what I thought it would be. It feels like april. An april evening. A feeling of sun that has been, a left over tinge of the morning's rain and a hint of future rain. A breeze binds it all together. Now we are three. I could think of no better way of spending an early rainy morning than driving over to Jay's house, knocking on her window, being let in and crashing on her blue IKEA couches. The four of us sharing an hour of a kinda sleep before packing the car. Through the darkness I could see their individual and distinctive sillouettes. I never thought I knew what true love was. But when I looked, truely and simply looked at 4.30am this morning at those three figures in the dark, I realised I did know. My heart strings pulled the corners of my mouth into a smile, and opened my tear ducts for just a second, long enough for a 2 lone tears to line my eyes, but not enough to run down my cheeks. These tears were not of sadness.

"if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom"

[Sufjan Stevens;Chicago]

They[the tears] were of happiness. Of times past, present and future.

in the leafy treetops...

Iroh is currently situated at the top of the huge gum in our neighbour's front yard. He's been there since about 9 o'clock. Dad walked out the front door and Iroh saw his chance and made a dash for the open sky. I never was attatched to the bird, but I want him to come back, not only for his saftey (let's face it, little fluro cockertiels were never bred to survive in the wild) but for my brothers'. Jai will be devestated-that bird is his one true love. Even dad looks a bit lost without his little shoulder companion. We've got the cage on the front veranda, in the hope that Iroh decides to fly back home. I don't think I'd miss the bird itself, but rather the happiness and joy and entertainment it brought to our family and especially my lil brothers' lives.

wednesday's facts:

I love my friends.

that and I really want to pick tennis up again.

Dear Jacspi,

I just rang up the RTA and guess what???!!! Red P platers ARE allowed to learn in a manual car as long as there is a full license holder instructing them and we're allowed to display our P plates-no need for L plates!!! The customer service consultant even read it out to me from his big book of rules! So it's official!!!!You can still learn in Newt!!

much love, sockpuppet:)

a letter to you...

wish you could be here with me. Outside in the front yard. The sun's nearly gone down. A cool summer evening breeze makes its way from tree to tree, rustling the leaves. It's dark, yet not night. The moon smiles from the sky, one lone star north-west of it. The trees and bushes have become ebony sillouettes. The sky is a gradient of oranges and blues. My jar of green pencils is afloat in a sea of grass. 'My' camera partly hidden beneath my black pirate bag. The mozzies are out but I can not see them, just sense them. Next door's Narnia lamps have just turned on, shining their light in the not yet night. I wear my lovely big over sized comfy cotton sweater accquired at last saturday's markets. I feel safe within the folds of fabric. My legs are protected from the wind with our red checked sleeping bag. I have watched the sun go down, or rather I drew whilst it sunk into the hills on the not so far horizon. My mind keeps wondering to you. My thoughts are with you. My heart's there too. It's darker now. I can hardly see the keys I am typing. It happened all so quickly. Wish we could stay out here together. But I know the time soon cometh where I will close my mac book, put the camera in my bag next to my jar of green pencils, sling it over one shoulder, the sleeping bag over the other, laptop under one arm, and walk back inside to where my brothers are watching National Treasure number 2. The sleeping bag will be returned to my room, the rest probably to the Big Table where my portrait 'studio' is currently set up. I may make an ecco. I may sit down and watch the end of the movie. But my thoughts will occasionaly return to the outside, the outside where I can almost feel you. I can now see the mozzies' sillouettes when they fly infront of the screen. Night is almost fully here. But not yet. A moment longer in this world I long to stay in. Perhaps this is what they call a twilight zone. That sereal moment between sunset and night. An ant is exploring my desktop. I love cool summer nights. Wish you were here with me. Wish you could see what I see. Feel what I feel. One day. One day. Night is coming. The dark is spreading thicker. But I am not scared. I have the memory of you and my sweater. The breeze is getting stronger as it plays with the hair framing my face. The breeze is now a wind telling me to go inside. Night is here.
love me.

One hot summer's day...

About to embark upon a 2 hour train trip to the Cumberland campus of Sydney Uni. Mum and me are prepared to fight off boredom with our respective books (mama=Inkdeath, me= the tao of Pooh) and of course, a camera. I'm about to enroll in university!!!!

Yesterday reality hit me and hit me hard. I actually do not have enough money to move out. Not even in the near future. I guess it's time for head down, tail up and a lot of hard work. Maybe I won't move out this year. I am looking at a possible 5 years of study. There's always time. No need to rush into debt-in fact I plan on avoiding it as much I can. I shall work, save, and bide my time...

3 hours of sleep

Got home from baby sitting at 11.50pm Friday. Shower. Finished Inkdeath. Bed=12.30am. Left for Sydney markets at 3.30am Saturday. Home at 8.30am. I am dead. Just a bit. Happy, but dead and slightly grumpy.

This is what summer holidays are made of!

Have just returned from a wonderful two days at Indi's for her 18th celebrations where we did many a thing. Well a picture tells a thousand words, therefore feast your eyes:

Tea's rooster Tweaty felt threatened by my thongs, leaving a warning etched in blood

Jacspi filling us up for the early morning journey to Indi's

Seeing our first film on the bigscreen!


Toni the fish and Jac the photographer eyeing me off

A lost thong on the path to The Crater

Tea's lovely feet as photographed by herself

Tea told me to try and eat the truck, but my mouth just wasn't big enough!

After 24 hours I finally manage to pull out the splinter gained from op shopping-ouch!

Our lovely picnic at the bike park

free chop sticks straight from nature!

Well that's the first peek into the last 2 days quickly put together before I drive back to Indi's for touch. Check out Jacspi's blog for more pictures!

2 days of successful treasure hunting

Yesterday Jacspi spirited me away to an island of buried treasure and thus began our digging in the heat and sweat only found in the middle of a summer's day. By and By we came out triumphant with 2 bags filled with lovely booty at a steal of $18 for myself and $17 for my fellow ninja/pirate/high sea adventurer. Mine finds include: a jar of giant buttons, a ball of gold/yellow twine, a black espirit skirt, a browny cue top, a white shirt, a cool flower printed almost square top, bright green bed sheet, 2 bed sheets which just happen to be the twins of 2 Jacu bourght, a pillow case and another bed sheet, an old book of maps, Lysaght referee book, Decimal Reckoner book, 7 magazines of music, food and interior design, a bead necklace, 2 small photo frames, and somehow a tyre gauge keyring found its way into my loot. (somewhere out there a car is calling me. That and a pot of gold to buy it with. or simple hard work)

Today I returned but this time it was my turn to spirit away my mama and lil bro no.2 to an early 9am hunt. I spent $37. The $7 bourght me 4 glass jars, a wooden spoon, a hanging rack, a wicker basket, a metal cooking pot and 2 enamal bowls. The $30 was spent on something entirely different. I stumbled upon a 1991 Bernette sewing machine in very good condition. That's right I bourght a sewing machine which 18 years ago brand new cost $500, for $30. Talk about a bargin. It needs a service ( cost = $85-a service which will have to wait for my funds to replenish) but still works. And it came with all its spare feet, needles, screwdrivers, bobbins etc. and of course the manual. Smiles all round from sockpuppet:D

6am

I had forgotten what 6 o'clock in the morning was like. I can't believe I'd been missing out on this glorious time of morning for the past 2 weeks. Early this morning I drove my family (minus my lil sister) to the sand dunes. I had first been introduced to them last week by Jacspi and decided to share the experience with my parents and little brothers. Yesterday the idea had been repulsed, torn down, stamped on and screamed at. Today little boys rubbing sleep from their eyes were more open and less hostile (a big thankyou to a good night's sleep!) As I drove in the early morning sun, my dad in the front, my mama reading The Fellowship of the Ring to my half awake brothers, I was able to observe the early morning life stirring in our local neighbourhood. No longer am I going to sleep in, even to a comfortable 7.30. 6 o'clock is the best time ever created and I shall be awake to see it.

At the sand dunes mama and I took photos while Papa walked and the boys collected rocks and shells. I have decided, a decision made all the way back at Port, that I want to live right near the beach. Close enough to run/walk every morning or at least a 5 or 10 min drive. There is a peace which exists there with the early fishermen, surfers and beach walkers. Wether it be photos, mediation, swimming, running, etc, one is able to forget the world, discover the simple things in life and become closer to who they're meant to be. Despite the salt and sand coating your body, you always feel clean walking away from the water, through the sand and back to your car. Refreshed for a new day or even life. It washes the stress away and gives you the strength to face the oncoming day head on. My family has never been a beach family and so it is only now in my own travels and thanks to some great friends that I have found this love.