'have you been drinking?' [yes, you'll have to see the movie to get it...]

My amigos, it's a beautiful chilly winter's day. AND I'm on holidays. I feel slightly lost. Not having any compulsory study to do. I'm so used to 'doing' and not just 'being'. i have to learn to 'be'. to relax. i think i trained myself during uni to feel bad or guilty if I wasn't doing some form of work, but that's not how it should go. I need to do some rewiring to get over those habitual feelings so I can live and get ready to dive into semester two. It's funny how much motivation I had to take on the world when I couldn't-as in I was meant to be studying and now that I have unrestricted time to mould, I don't know where to start. These past two days I've been hanging quite a bit with my lil bro JJ (and yes I keep changing his pseudonym). We've made chocolate chip cookies with our favourite Deece and Mali, to deliver to friends, entertained little 3 month mali, entered the library and returned with an armful of glorious fiction, met the Prince of Persia with Jac, Newt as our chariot.....I love spending time with him. I do have an alterior motive tho. j is going through testosterone filled puberty and has a tendacy to blow up every 10 mins, thus making our home a battleground and often resulting in revocked privledges-therefore my strategy is to help j remain human by taking him places, giving himself something to do/busy himself with. So far Kingdom Heart manga has him absorbed-when he isn't reading it he's drawing the characters. [Dang....internet please stop stuffing around-you're either on or you're not-MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND STOP TURNING OFF AND ON EVERY 5 MINS!!!] I love having a verander to sit on and soak up the afternoon sun whilst blogging. [thank you internet for turning back on-most appreciated] Been reading and thinking and reading and thinking. when I gather some coherant thoughts together I shall let you know;) btw. so I watched Prince of Persia and realised I hadn't seen a movie with violence in it for a LOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG time. And was surprised with how I found myself reacting to it. The thoughts that went through my head. I enjoyed the movie but I couldn't help but keep thinking how pointless and unnecessary violence is in general-couldn't they find some other way?(yes, i know, an idealist thought, but still.....). It was a war movie, not particularly gory but when you've been watching feel-good-kid movies (....i.e. UP, Mary Poppins...etc) for the past year (?) or so it does have an impact. Something I've got to work out.... ( man! I was brought up on star wars for crying out loud! what is this??!!!) I guess it impacts me so much because each person who is killed no matter how inconsequential, I think, he had a family, people who love him... what's going to happen to them? who's going to tell them their papa...brother...husband is dead? You don't think about it because the movie isn't telling their story, it's telling the hero's story, just another man who happens to have a lot more luck and skill than them (and true, generally a mission that the whole world's fate rest upon) . or/and perhaps it's because I have changed focus a bit. I used to want to be like those super cool heros doing all that cool parkour and saving the day. Now, not that I don't want to be able to do all those things, but my focus is more on mission and family-inparticuarly my future family... the simple joys in life...hmmmm...how to unite the two concepts....cos neither needs to be in isolation of the other. I'm totally going to be a kick-butt mama...But it does also raise the question of how much violence should we allow ourselves to see and what types of violence....this is about to lead into a d&m but I'm hungry so shall save it for another post;)